Life With an Absent Father

I go to a private school so what I see isn’t the same situation that I’ve gone through. A lot of people really don’t understand it. My mom has busted her butt since day one. She works two jobs to send me to school and if there was a second income in the house life would be a lot simpler but that’s not the situation I’m in. My mom provides absolutely everything I could want and need but there is definitely something missing and it’s him. There’s been some extremely rough nights for me and my mom when someone else could have made a big difference but there’s no one else, just her and I. Some nights I just feel lonely and feel the hole that he has left. David isn’t a man in my books and never will be. He doesn’t claim me and frankly never will. It is okay though and it always will be. I’ve gone this long without him and I’ll finish my life without him. He taught me how not to treat your kids and it’s a life lesson a lot of people don’t learn, usually it’s the opposite. I love my mom and …

To explain this story I have to go all the way back. My family had always hidden who my dad was so I just assumed my mixed half siblings’ dad was the same as mine. At young ages you don’t see color, in a modern way to put it, so I never saw a problem with it. The way I found out about my dad was my aunt. She had been drinking all day and just let everything go. I found out his name and minor details about him, needless to say it hurt to hear everything from her.Everything was dropped until about a year ago when I told my mom I was ready to find him. She searched through Facebook and we found out he doesn’t have one, but she dug deeper and found his trucking company he owned. Eventually we got his phone number, I ended up texting him while I was on my anti-depression medication. The medication didn’t help me in anyway but it gave me a sliver of courage. It wasn’t worth it though. He brushed me off for 5 months, I let my feelings out multiple times to just be ignored. I went to ask him …